Such Skies
by honeysweetcutie
Summary: HIATUS. August 29th, 2017: the first body is found in the forest. My best friend ended her own life and she didn't leave a note. Questions, questions, and no answers. The worst part? Her death was only the first. RATED M. Trigger warnings apply: language, substance abuse, eating disorders, suicide, self-harm, phys/sxual abuse.
1. The First

**Song of the chapter:** _"Howling"_ **by RX Y.**

 **Chapter One - The First**

" _It was_ _one of those dewy, clear, starry nights, oppressing our spirit, crushing our pride, by the brilliant evidence of the awful loneliness, of the hopeless obscure insignificance of our globe lost in the splendid revelation of a glittering, soulless universe . . ."_

A creamy, golden-hued sunset had just painted the sky with its warm embrace when they found the first body.

Swinging gently in the wind from the branch of an old, burly oak tree, the girl could not have been more than 20 years old. Her chestnut-brown tresses, ragged as though she had cut them herself with the same razor she'd used to create the scars on her wrists, were as limp and lifeless as her glassy emerald eyes. The scream that had pierced the forest when her sister found her still hung heavy in the air, rustling through the leafy foliage overhead and disturbing the birds into chirping anxiously. The police were called, firemen arriving simultaneously to cut her down, but the sister's statement couldn't be understood through her hysterical sobs.

A crowd slowly grew over the hours, bringing with it news cameras and questions.

Why had the girl chosen to leave the world in this manner? Why had she chosen two methods of doing so, blade and noose? What could possibly have caused her to believe there was no other way out? Who had hurt her? Who had caused her to believe she wasn't worth this life?

Questions, questions, and no answers in sight.

She hadn't left a note.

We all remember that day as the "beginning of the end," so to speak. August 29th, 2017. The Summer was dwindling down to the last vestiges of freedom, when children stay out until the darkness sets in, if only to have just a few more moments before they have to return to homework and lectures. A new senator - my father - had just been elected into office over the whole state, and not all of the islands were in agreement over his policies. The police were running around unchecked, shooting first and asking questions later. Most of the kids in my university were on the newest drug, Way to Dawn, a drug so new that no one knew if the euphoria it provided caused lasting health concerns or not. The classes were divided: the rich lived on the north side of the island and the poor lived on the south side, and wherever the two crossed, the amount of crimes increased.

Things were not okay on Destiny Islands, and they were only about to get worse.

xxx

I stood on the scale, watching the black arrow moving wildly as I stepped onto it. I dissected the number to make it easier for my mind to comprehend. Because seeing it as 10 pounds times 10 more felt a lot better than seeing it as 100. Even so, it wasn't enough to placate me. Because when I thought about how I hadn't eaten since yesterday, the number should have been lower.

Stepping off the scale, I immediately stepped back on.

100.

My frown deepened, and I glanced at myself in the mirror briefly as if to match my appearance to the number. I got back on.

100.

Running my fingers through my shoulder-length crimson hair, I tried to remain calm. I peeled off my sundress, hoping it would change the number.

99.9

A smile split the dark expression on my face and I almost instantly felt lighter. I turned to the notebook I had placed on the bathroom counter and wrote the number down next to today's date. My eyes scanned the previous day's numbers. I was steadily losing, although there were a couple of weeks where my body had freaked out and maintained the same weight. I was definitely glad it was back to normal.

I closed the notebook and put it into the top drawer. Then, I took the pencil and went to my desk to start working on my homework.

The intercom speaker in my room clicked on.

"Kairi, can you come downstairs, please."

The words seemed harmless, but I knew they were a mask. Somehow, in some way, I had done something wrong. I set my pencil down and stood up from my Summer coursework, wondering what I could possibly have done this time, and I headed out into the marble-floored hallway. My feet slapped against the cold stone as I headed for the grand staircase, and I tried to ignore the scars on my back that itched with a mixture of dread and defiance.

No sooner than my toes had brushed the landing at the base of the stairs, my father's voice drifted lazily from the left, the sound traveling up to the vaulted ceilings and echoing back down to my ears. I hesitated. Half of me knew I was innocent of whatever he thought I had done, me being the most well-mannered 21-year-old on the entire island. But my other half protested, knowing it was no use trying to stand up for myself. I had heard it in his tone: I had definitely broken some rule.

"In my office," I heard my father say.

I entered the office, slowly pushing the heavy mahogany double doors inward. My feet went from cold marble to plush maroon carpet and I walked across the large room with feigned courage lighting my cerulean eyes.

"Father," I greeted, keeping my gaze lowered.

Silence was his response, save for the sound of him flipping through the newspaper with leisure. I stood there like a dutiful daughter, waiting for twenty minutes while he took his sweet time, and I remained calm. I wiped any curiosity or desire to look up from my mind. I knew that it was better to keep quiet, wait for my punishment, and then I could go back up to my room.

Finally, he set the paper down and I heard him sigh. I felt his eyes boring holes into me, but still, I dared not lift mine.

"Tell me why your best friend is front page news," he said curtly.

My brow furrowed and human reactions won out.

"Olette?" I blurted out, gazing upon my father's bronze skin in confusion. "Why would she be in the paper?"

He folded his hands on his desk and raised his silver brows at me. He said nothing, choosing instead to push the paper across the desk, indicating that he wanted me to look at it. I rushed to cross the distance, snatching the paper up.

As soon as I read the headline, I wished I hadn't.

 **Teen Suicide Raises Questions.** _The body of 20-year-old Olette Railway was found at the edge of Oblivion Woods. She . . ._

The paper fell through my trembling fingers and drifted gently to the floor, a direct contrast to the storm that rumbled through my entire body. My heart felt like it was being squeezed into a tiny box as black shadows cascaded in at the edges of my vision. I sank to the carpet, touching the photo the Destiny Islands Tribune had chosen to print - the photo of us at our graduation two years ago, throwing our hats up into the air and smiling. Smiling, because we were young, hopeful, and ready to grow up.

My father rose from his chair and came around to my place on the carpet, kneeling down beside me. I felt his hand on my shoulder and on instinct, I flinched. His other hand touched my chin and turned my face up to look at his. His sunset-colored eyes were void of anger, a rarity that I'd likely not see again for a while.

"She didn't leave a note," he said, his voice quiet.

My vision blurred with tears and I whimpered, "Why?"

He shook his head. Of course he didn't know. How could he? And how could I not have seen the signs?

I closed my eyes, tears leaking out from beneath my dark lashes, and remembered Olette as I last saw her.

" _You excited for Fall term to start?"_ was her last text to me, and I hadn't replied. I hadn't replied for selfish reasons - because she had been on Way to Dawn for the entire Summer, had failed her classes, and was still happy. Meanwhile, I had been suffering. Suffering my father's wrath at every turn; suffering my own high standards for myself; suffering my eternal hunger as I constantly chose perfection over food. Suffering my jealousy at her happiness compared to my misery.

And now she was dead.

I was too upset to stiffen at my father's touch. He embraced me wholly, and in my distress I melted against his form. The sobs that wracked my body fueled my spiral into despair, and every fiber in my being ached. I threw my arms around my father's neck and wept into the lapel of his Armani, wailing aloud. In my mind's eyes, I saw Olette's smile.

". . . _I hate such skies."_

\- Conrad J. Chance: _A Tale in Two Parts_. 1914

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 **A/N: I think it's safe to say I abandoned my other stories. . I'm really sorry, but they all just have so many flaws that I can't finish them right now, I may rewrite them later, but for now, they are all suspended.**

 **Anyway, the premise of this story was inspired by the suicides in Bridgend, in the UK. I know the articles and movies don't tell the whole truth, so this story will be only loosely based on that. I don't intend to dredge up painful memories for anyone, so please avoid this story if this will trigger you.**

 **This story will have heavy subject matter and will be highly rated M. Not only will there be drugs, alcohol, cussing, suicide, self-harm, eating disorders, and matters of the occult, but there will also be a heavy amount of physical and sexual abuse as well. Please avoid this story if you cannot handle it. Also, do be aware that the eating disorder in this story will be REALISTIC. I have suffered from one for 7 years now, so I write about it as a form of self-therapy. Don't expect it to be glamorized or easy to stomach (pun not intended). It will be gritty, and oftentimes gross.**

 **Sorry for the chapter being short, it's more of a prologue.**


	2. Moving On

**A/N: So sorry for the late update, and sorry that it is short. It is somewhat foreshadowing-heavy however! For an update on my life and everything, check my Author page!**

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 **Chapter Two - Moving On**

At night, I dreamed of blood and shadows. Flames that licked up the sides of my body and melted away my precious flesh. I burned every time that I closed my eyes, and felt creatures lurking in the darkness just out of reach. They encircled me with their wicked intentions, ensuring that no matter how hard I fought, I never escaped the fire. And all the while, I heard Olette's death rattle echoing across the black landscape of my mind.

Destiny Islands had its share of folklore, but nothing that I knew of in childhood or adolescence could explain the evils that I dreamt of. Nothing that I could have possibly imagined could have possessed such insidious desires. Nothing to explain why when I went to sleep every night, I heard the last sounds that had passed from between Olette's lips. Nothing to explain why I awoke in a cold sweat with bruises all over my arms that seemed to have no shape.

I started school that term with unfinished coursework and deep circles under my eyes. I couldn't discern whether the exhaustion was a result of my lack of food or my lack of sleep, but it didn't matter to anyone around me. Most students had a similar appearance, and I knew it was due to Way to Dawn. I was grateful to blend in, though it irked me to have the disposition of someone who took the same drug that I believed contributed to Olette's demise.

Between classes, I sat down at a table in the library. The quiet felt more comfortable to me than the noise of the cafeteria, and most of the students in there were more interested in studying than in me. It was difficult attending a community college on the Islands-most of the students were from the poorer side of the island or from other islands in the state, and hadn't gone to my high school, so I recognized none of them. That together with the loss of Olette contributed to my loneliness.

"Would you like to sign up for this?"

I looked up from the song I was writing, pushing my crimson hair behind my ear. A girl stood there, her platinum blonde hair seeming to shine under the light above us. She wore a pair of sweatpants and a V-neck white shirt, a beanie slouching off the back of her head, and currently held a flyer out towards me. I took it.

"I'm sorry?" I answered.

"It's my band," she said, then she gestured to my notebook. "I noticed you were writing lyrics."

"Oh," I said, blinking. I hadn't thought anyone could see what I had been writing, but I didn't mind anyone knowing. After all, my father required me to perform my music at all of his benefits, events, and galas, so it wasn't like I wasn't used to people seeing or hearing my work. I merely felt surprise that someone had been watching me.

"We're having tryouts soon," the girl went on to say. "Do you sing, or . . . ?"

"Yeah," I said, though I wasn't sure if being in a band was something I could do. It did sound entertaining, and it would keep my mind off of Olette and my stress over food, but would my father allow it? I didn't realize I had been chewing at my lower lip until I felt a sharp pain and tasted blood.

"Well, tryouts are here on campus tomorrow at 6," the girl said. "If you wanted to show up."

"Okay," I said, and I saw my father's disapproval written tangibly inside my mind. "I'll see if I can make it."

"Sweet," the girl said, and then she wandered off deeper into the library.

I gazed down at the flyer. It looked exactly how I expected it to look: the words "Band Tryouts" written in bold font at the top, followed by a bulleted list of the qualities they were looking for in a singer as well as the genre they played (mostly rock or metalcore), and then an email, phone number, and contact person. Namine Lightle. I wondered if the blonde girl was Namine, or if it was someone else . . .

I folded up the flyer and put it into my purse. I had no idea if my father would allow me to do something like play in a band, especially since the election season had just finished. That meant that he would be busy putting on as many events as possible to help ensure citizen satisfaction and confidence. I would probably have to spend my evenings practicing my songs for those events.

And yet . . . I gazed up at the ceiling, thoughtful. It would be easy to tell my parents that I had added a new class to my schedule. I already had 2 on my plate, but 3 would hardly arouse suspicion. Worst case scenario, if I didn't make it into the band, I would at least be able to have a couple hours to do whatever I wanted. I hadn't ever lied to my parents about something so large before, but I knew that I was going crazy at home, unable to focus on anything other than Olette's passing.

' _I'll think about it_ ,' I thought to myself, checking my phone for the time. My next class was due to start, so I packed my things up and headed out towards the doors.

Close to the entryway was the information desk, where a student worker sat at a computer, answered questions, and checked out books. I saw that a boy was standing there, talking to the worker, and as I drew closer, I overheard what they were saying.

"Where is the Occult section?" the boy was asking, one hand in the front pocket of his black skinny jeans and the other gripping the strap of his black messenger bag.

"It's towards the back of the library," the worker girl responded, pointing towards the Horror shelves. Her eyes possessed a wary countenance as they washed over the boy. "But we don't have many books like that."

"I'm kinda interested in Demonology, Biblical texts, that sort of thing," the boy said. "Is there anything like that?"

Unconsciously, I slowed my pace, my eyes lingering on the two conversing. The boy caught my eye, and I found that cobalt met cerulean and my heart skipped a beat. He was _cute_. He didn't smile, however, and turned his attention back to the worker, who looked disturbed.

"Demons?" she said. "Uhh . . . I don't know if we have anything like that, but let me check." She turned to the computer and her acrylic nails began tapping away at the keyboard.

I knew it looked odd that I was lingering, so I sped up and continued walking. I glanced over my shoulder as I walked out the door and saw the boy's back as he walked towards the back of the building. I had very little interest in demons, but I couldn't help but be curious about his interest in them. I made a mental note to look some things up later, and then headed to class.

xxx

When I walked into my Intro to Geology class, I wasn't surprised to see that we had tables instead of desks. Most of the tables were empty save for one, which was a group of two girls and two guys who all seemed to know each other. I chose a table as far away from them as possible, because cliques usually made me feel uncomfortable, and pulled out the syllabus that the teacher had emailed out to us the previous weekend. I started glancing over it while the room continued to fill in.

"Hey, it's the library girl!"

The familiar voice rained down and I looked up as the blonde girl from the band sat down beside me. She was grinning at me from ear-to-ear, and I had to admit, it was kind-of nice to see a face that was even 10% familiar. I smiled back.

"My name's actually Kairi," I told her, giving her a little wave.

"Namine," Namine replied, waving back. She set her bag down and copied me by pulling her syllabus out of it. "Kinda cool that we're both taking this class-must be fate."

"Must be," I chuckled. "Is it a gateway class for you, too?"

She nodded. "I'm trying to move up to Archaeology, but they make you take Intro to Geo first. You?"

"Volcanoes & Earthquakes," I said. I didn't say it aloud, but even though I was more of a girly-girl, a career in studying natural disasters was just a ticket off the Islands for me. It was a ticket to freedom from my parents. I didn't know if it was what I'd go to my grave doing, but I was sure as Hell going to study it now.

"Oh, that's sweet," Namine said, nodding enthusiastically. "Did you know that Mount Olympus is a volcano?"

I knew she spoke of our island's largest mountain-it was known to almost everyone from a young age that it was an active volcano. There was a lava vent on the backside of it which constantly pushed molten rock into the ocean, and every few months, a plume of sulphuric smoke came spilling out of the tip of it. Our house, as well as most of the richer side of the island, was situated at the base of the volcano, so when I stood out on the balcony in my room, I had a first-class view of it. I had never hiked it, but since I did find volcanoes interesting, I wanted to. I had asked my father one time as a child if we could take a family hike or do the Island Volcano Tours together, and his response was to yell at me to go practice my piano. I took that answer as a no.

"I've never been on it," I told Namine. "I really want to hike it someday, though."

"I hiked it one time," she said. "With my boyfriend, Roxas. But we didn't make it very far. Once you get halfway to the top, the sulphur smell is so bad and the air gets too hot."

My eyebrows shot up. "Wow, that active, huh?"

"We didn't hear anything, you know like, rumbling or whatever," she said, waving her hand dismissively. "But it was too hard to breathe, so we went back down stateside."

Before I could say anything more, the door opened and a large influx of students poured into the room and filled out the rest of the tables. Behind them, a tall woman with a floor-length braid walked in with the largest, most sunny smile I had ever seen in my entire life. It felt as though the entire room lit up the second she entered the space.

"Hello, everyone!" she practically sang as she headed to the front of the room. "Take your seats and-"

The door opened one last time and I perked up. In walked the boy from the library, his cobalt blue eyes blazing and his gravity-defying brunette hair looking positively unruly. He was panting, obviously having run, and underneath his arm he held a couple of larger books. I wondered if they were the books he'd been looking for in the library.

"Sorry," he said, and his smile was full of perfect teeth. He took a seat at mine and Namine's table, but he didn't acknowledge us.

"No problem," the teacher said, continuing to speak. As she talked about the class, what we'd be doing, and what we'd be learning, I caught myself staring at the books the boy had placed on the table.

The spines of both read " _Demons & Demonology" _and _"The Antarctic Demonium."_ My brow furrowed. Antarctic? Demons in Antarctica? That was interesting in and of itself, especially since Hell was supposed to be, well, _hot_. I pulled out my phone and typed in " _Demons & Demonology_." After skimming for a bit, I put it away. There was so much material, I would have to have a lot more time to focus.

"This is the chick I was telling you about," Namine suddenly whispered, and to my surprise, the boy nodded and gave me a small, polite smile.

"Are you coming to the tryouts then?" he asked.

I blushed for some reason, likely tied to the fact that he was talking to me, and I looked to Namine. "You guys know each other?"

"He's the guitarist," Namine said at the same time that the boy said, "I'm the guitarist."

"Oh, wow," I replied. "Well, I'm thinking about it. I just have to . . ." I trailed off, not wanting to seem like a child by telling them I had to ask my parents. "I have to move some things around first."

"Cool," the boy said, and then we all focused on the teacher again.

"And again, my name is Mrs. Strife, but you absolutely can call me Aerith," she said, her long braid swinging as she furiously wrote her name down on the whiteboard. "Now, this term, we will mostly focus on an introduction to the entirety of geological fields, but we won't go too deeply into specific career fields and topics, since it is just an intro class."

A student raised his hand. "Will there be field trips in this class?"

"Yes," she replied. "There will be a few-one to the rock museum, one to the volcanic quarry on the other side of the island to collect samples, and in our final week of term, we will go hike the base of Mount Olympus. But we'll get into that later this term. For now, I want us all to get to know each other. So, how about you all talk amongst your tables, and then we'll go around and all say something about ourselves?"

"So, since you guys know each other, I'm Sora Richardson," the boy said, pointing to himself. "And yeah, I'm the guitarist."

"He's also super dark and brooding," Namine said with a giggle, rolling her eyes and leaning closer to me. "But he's my best friend, so I let it go forever ago."

I laughed. "Well, I'm Kairi Frierson. I guess you guys will find out, but I sing and write songs. And my dad just got elected senator."

"Oh, shit for real?" Sora's eyebrows shot up.

Namine's jaw dropped. "Dude, my mom literally works in your dad's office."

I gasped. "Are you serious? That's insane-I've brought him lunch a couple times, I probably have met her."

"She's the receptionist," Namine said.

"Oh yeah, then I know her," I replied, smiling. "She's super nice."

"Yeah, she's cool, I _guess_ ," she joked.

Sora smiled absently. "So anyway, Namine, I got these books from the library. They might help us figure some things out."

I watched as the two of them skimmed the books, reading some things aloud to themselves and to each other. I found my mind wandering as they did so, and I gazed around at the students in the class. As expected, I recognized none of them, and I felt no surprise. The only person that I would have known was Olette, and she was gone now.

I wondered if Orchid had thought of me before the end.

xxx

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 **A/N: Thank you so much.**


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